my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
