Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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