I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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