I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
