I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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