Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
