Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
