i barfeds in our rink
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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