I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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