just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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