I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize