Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
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