This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
