We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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