The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
