Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
