he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
