I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
