She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
