Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
