Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
