Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
