I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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