mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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