haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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