Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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