Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
plz talk dirty to me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
