there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
