i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
this is an emotional support booty call
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
