and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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