Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
