@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm always down for nudity.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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