How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
