I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if only i could text you this smell
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
