Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Two words: nipple clamps
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