im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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