I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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