I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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