so that wasnt chicken after all
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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