Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize