This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i now understand why vodka
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
