Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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