Umm I'm too high to move.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
