She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
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Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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