So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize