they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
