windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
