My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
