We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
