I seem to have left my pride at pride
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize