So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
