if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
