Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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