Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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