Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
