U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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