Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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