Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
