I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
